“Poland are policing the border like a military autocracy”, claim Belarus Europe’s only dictatorship

As tensions surrounding migrants at the border with Poland intensify, Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko has accused Poland of behaving like a military autocracy. “It’s a disgrace”, Lukashenko stated from his 33 room neo-gothic mansion just outside Minsk. “Such a response shows the breakdown of organised and state-controlled democracy, which we in Rus – I mean Belarus, are strictly against. This is a slippery slope, in which Poland could end up being a country with political repression, state-endorsed plane hijackings and misappropriation of EU funds to buy mansions. It really makes me sick.” This statement comes after the accusation that Belarus armed migrants with tear gas and lasers against Polish border security, which Lukashenko claims was all part of an elaborate techno rave encouraging solidarity.